How to express emotions through talking

How to express emotions - through talking

So, how to express emotions? Nature has given us two wonderful ways in which we could do this. One is talking and the other is crying. Talking about how we feel is really one of the most adequate ways of expressing feelings. It takes courage, timing, opportunity and a good listener. This is important.We can only talk about painful emotions when we are ready to. Grief, pain and hurt can often render us silent and encourage us to hold our feelings within. This is an important part of the process and one that should not be rushed.However, when the time comes to talk, then we need to be able to trust a patient, understanding listener.

Listening

A listener needs to listens and really hear, to be tuned in to the speaker and to hear with every part of their mind, body and soul. Listening is best done with plenty of eye contact. Even if the speaker finds this difficult, a good listener will be completely engaged in this manner. People often stop talking because they have identified that the listener has ceased to be really present for them. If you are fully focused in talking about your feelings, you can tell how your energy is being received. When the listener fails to identify fully with you, it can be a palpable feeling and one that can arrest your flow of words. When identifying with you, the listener needs to be aware of not interrupting your flow of thinking by bringing in their own material or agenda. This takes skill, but is part of being present for the other. Reflecting, or mirroring what is being heard can greatly help the speaker to dig deeper into their feelings. Listening for what isn't said and helping the speaker to seek this out, is a valuable listening skill too. Learning to read body language, the words that are expressed though hand movements, the shuffling of feet, clutching of the chest, all reveal hidden concerns and can be brought out through careful prompting on the listener's part. Questions such as, when have you felt this before and struggled to speak about, can often help the speaker to address memories.

How to express emotions through -

Speaking

It takes courage to address our feelings. So much of what we experience has been felt throughout our lifetime and stored deep within us as if on a tape recorder. Speaking out about our feelings can be like pressing play, and allowing the free flow of feelings to come out.This means we need to have an adequate feelings vocabulary in order to make our feelings known. It also presupposes we can understand what it is we are feeling. We can feel frightened of telling about the thoughts we have kept hidden deep within us, embarrassed to see ourselves clearly and ashamed of what we hear ourselves saying. Often we can feel guilty about taking up time and space to express our emotions. But these too are only feelings and once we embark on the notion of expressing them, the reward is in the relief we can feel once we have let them out. Courageously revealing our private shames, blames, guilt and fears can often put them into clearer perspective and certainly makes us feel freedom from the weight of negative emotions held within.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence
- what is it?

In regards to others, emotional intelligence refers to your empathetic understanding of other people and your ability to connect and respond, rather than react, to them - to accept their feelings and to encourage the other's acceptance of them.Is it a tall order to assume that we would all like to see ourselves and be seen by others as mature, thoughtful, responsive, empathetic, loving human beings, in control of ourselves? As parents we all want to raise healthy, responsible, creative, loving, considerate children who grow into emotionally mature adults. Often, though, more emphasis appears to be placed on acquiring healthy physical, mental and intellectual capacities while appearing to be less concerned with achieving emotional maturity. Consider the proliferation of Baby Einstein type products and extra curricular activities available today to extend our youngsters intelligence.I'm also often amazed by the inferior emotional reactions of often well educated adults. For instance, I've found it not uncommon to witness a startling intellectual performance by a confident business person, only to have them react with the emotional capability of a six year old when criticised or confronted. And let's face it, a great deal of what counselors observe frequently consists of less than mature emotional reactions to circumstances which appear beyond our control. Let's look at what the main characteristics of emotional intelligence are:Emotional intelligence:
Emotional awareness - the ability to understand feelings and the messages they give
Persistence and perseverance - the ability to show determination to carry a task through - stickability
Optimism - a confident, buoyant and forward thinking positive attitude
An internal locus of control - an understanding of being in control of your own life rather than relinquishing that control to forces outside yourself
A sense of perspective - the ability to see the bigger picture
Resilience - learning the value of mistakes, being able to bounce back and make the necessary changes
Positive thinking - being affirmative in most situations
Supportive social environment - able to seek out and receive help from others
A sense of humor - the ability to laugh at one's self and the difficulties in life
Recognise change - roll with the punches and envelop changes
Purpose - the ability to find meaning in challenges and obstacles
Connection - to one's higher purpose and spirituality
Strength - emotional stamina in adversity and a belief in one's own capabilities We all want to be able to handle stress, anxiety and difficult challenges and to be able to learn and grow from life's hardships. I guess we would all desire to achieve our full emotional potential in terms of intelligence and resilience. It seems astonishing to me, not to want to consider putting effort and energy into maturing on all levels of our being, and wanting this for our children too.To a certain extent your emotional intelligence is determined by your genes, however, it is also a learned response, too. It can be learned, it can be taught, mentored, emulated, and modeled.Indeed as parents we do all of the above constantly as we raise our children. It is possible to 'grow up' emotionally, to have a maturing emotional capability. The question is:How do we build emotional intelligence and resilience, both within ourselves and within our children? Find out more here:Building Emotional Intelligence and ResilienceWe need to be able to step back, allow ourselves the time to feel our feelings and to look for the messages they convey to us. We need to understand why we feel in particular ways and what these feelings mean for us. Then we are able to change negative emotions into positive ones. Working with Emotional IntelligenceHere are some useful steps to take in working with emotional intelligence. If this is new to you, be kind, gentle and patient with yourself as you open to different and more vigorous ways of thinking and being. Social Competence - developing social intelligenceSocial competence is learned by children through observation and participation. Children learn social competence from how their parents treat them, and how their parents treat others. Then they put it into practice on each other. Happy Child - helping our children to express their feelingsThere is a great deal we as parents can do to help our children to acknowledge and express their feelings, to become a happy child.How to express emotions through talkingTalking about how we feel is really one of the most adequate ways of expressing feelings. It takes courage, timing, opportunity and a good listener. This is important.Releasing emotions through cryingCrying is a natural way of releasing emotions from our bodies. Those, for whom crying comes easily, often remark about how much better they feel after a good cry. But for many, there is much fear associated with appearing vulnerable and letting go, shame about being seen to cry, or a life time of suppressed tears that just will not come.

Helicopter parents hover over their children, managing every aspect of their child's life. Submarine parents remain "hidden" coming to the surface when guidance is needed."I called the director of Chloe's camp to let him know she only drinks orange-pineapple juice for breakfast...not plain orange juice.""We had Jacob's soccer coach over for dinner to make sure he understood that Jacob doesn't respond well to direct commands. We want the coach to use "suggestions" when talking to Jacob about soccer techniques.""I can't believe the teacher asked Phoebe to write her paper again with better penmanship. Doesn't that woman know it's the content of the writing rather than how it looks? I don't want Phoebe to think she is a poor writer just because of sloppy handwriting."Ahhhh the thought patterns of helicopter parents! These over-bearing, obsessive, hovering parents micro-manage every aspect of their children's lives. It isn't enough to make sure their toddler listens to Baby Einstein and excels at Gymboree classes. The Wall Street Journal recently reported cases of helicopter parents accompanying their college-graduate children to job interviews. Some companies offering internships for college seniors now conduct parent orientation programs to stem the numerous phone calls from helicopter parents. While helicopter parents may have the best intentions, in reality, they are raising children with few problem solving skills. Children with hovering parents never get the chance to face disappointment and build up resiliency.Let's hear it for ...SUBMARINE PARENTS! Think about your typical submarine. (Not an everyday topic of parental discussion.) Submarines usually remain underwater, out of sight. In case of a need for emergency surfacing, submarines can rise so quickly they are propelled partially out of the water. Submarine parents also remain out of sight, yet able to pop up in the case of an emergency. Let's look at the difference between helicopter and submarine parents: Helicopter Parents: Prepare sack lunches for their child, complete with dinosaur shaped sandwiches and lengthy notes extolling the wonder of their child's intelligence, good looks and ability to use the remote. Submarine Parents: Lay out a variety of school lunch supplies and encourage their child to pack his own lunch. If Matt packs only chips and carrot sticks, he'll get hungry and pack a bigger lunch the next day.Helicopter parents: Sell family heirlooms on E-Bay in order to pay for a $3, 995 Silver Cross Pram. (Canopy only an additional $225.00!) In order to get full use out of this pram, even three and four year olds are pushed through the park while munching on gourmet, flax-seed crackers. Submarine Parents: Buy a sturdy and comfortable stroller at a garage sale for $25.00. As soon as the child starts to walk, the stroller is re-sold at a garage sale and kids get exercise by walking and running.Helicopter Parents: Participate in all their child's homework projects. When a fifth grade teacher assigned the task of building a model of the solar system, (without using Styrofoam balls!) helicopter parents complained in mass. How could their future astronomer reconstruct the galaxy of planets without proportionately sized Styrofoam balls?Submarine Parents: Encourage their children to look around the house for items to use. One mother donated a collection of dryer lint so her son could add glue and create mini-lint balls representing planets.I admit, I'm a submarine parent. My job as a parent is to have fun with my daughters while letting them explore and learn natural consequences. My youngest daughter Sondra didn't know stores had dressing rooms until she was eight. I bought all her (cute!) clothes at garage sales and consignment shops. After washing each item, she'd find it hanging in her closet or folded in a drawer. There was no discussion about, "Will you wear this if I buy it for you?" My older daughter found herself acting in commercials and making more than minimum wage as a teen. To give her a sense of the real world, I insisted she spend three weeks every summer, picking strawberries and earning $3.50 on a good day. When Sondra was six, she wanted an uber-expensive American Girl Doll. I cut the full color, 18" picture out of the American Girl catalog and had it laminated. "Here's your American Girl Doll." I said "When you turn nine, I'll buy you the three dimensional doll on your birthday." Sondra played with her flat doll for months, making clothes and furniture for her. She learned creativity. I saved $88.00.Silvana Clark is a professional speaker, presenting keynotes and workshops on business-related topics.The author of 11 books, she gained her marketing experience by getting her "ordinary" dog to star in TV commercials. Oh yes, she also appeared on the Fox reality show, Trading Spouses.http://www.silvanaclark.com

Georgia Workers' Compensation Benefits - What Employees Are Entitled To Benefits?

This article is made available for educational purposes only, to give you general information and a general understanding of the law, not to provide specific legal advice. This should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed professional attorney in your state. What is Workers' Compensation? In Georgia, Workers' Compensation operates as a "no fault" system for compensating injured workers for time missed from work and for costs of necessary medical treatment. The system presents trade-offs for Georgia workers. While it bars claims against an employer for personal injury, it also bars some of the defenses an employer could use against a workers' claim such as "assumption of the risk" or that the injury was caused by a fellow employee. This system means you cannot sue your employer in State/Superior court for your injuries, like you would in other instances. Instead, an injured employee is compensated according to a schedule set out by the Georgia State Board of Workers' Compensation. Sadly, this means you will not be able to sue your employer for such things as pain and suffering from your injuries. Exactly who is allowed to make a Georgia Workers' Comp claim? The foundation of workers' compensation law is in defining who is an employer and an employee for workers' compensation purposes. Unfortunately, it is not always as simple as "I work for Company X, therefore Company X is my employer and I am his employee." The basic rule as to whether an employee/employer relationship exists involves two seemingly simple criteria; 1) a person in the service of another, who is 2) under contract of hire. There is no requirement that a work contract be written. Actual pay may not be necessary (ex. Volunteer firefighters or police, elected officials). Minors can still benefit from workers' compensation even if they are working in violation of child labor laws. Also, unlike many states, migrant workers and temporary employees are covered. However, many types of employment or employers are not subject to workers' compensation. Types of employment not covered by Georgia Workers' Compensation include Domestic servants, Farm laborers, Railroad common carriers, Sports officials (umpire, judge, linesman, scorekeeper, timekeeper, etc.), Licensed real estate salespersons with independent contractor agreements, Partners in a business, and Independent Contractors. Georgia Workers Compensation does NOT apply to employers that do not have at least three employees operating in the same business within Georgia. These minimum three employees must be "regularly in service" within the state. The term "regularly" does not mean constantly or continuously, only that there is a routine practice by the employer to utilize three or more employees, even if that many employees are working on the date of an accident. In most situations your boss will count towards the three employee requirement. Independent Contractors Employers often do everything they can to classify their employees as independent contractors to protect themselves from having to pay workers' compensation to their injured employees. There may be a debate as to whether you are in fact an independent contractor, but if you one, you are not entitled to workers' compensation. While it can be complicated determining whether you are an employee or an independent contractor, below are some of the factors to look at in determining your status: CONTRACT - Existence of an independent contractor agreement signed by the worker PAY - An hourly or salaried worker is likely an employee. When a worker is paid on a per-job basis he may be viewed as an independent contractor. TAXES - If an employer withholds taxes, the worker is more likely an employee. However, just because your wages are reported on 1099 tax form instead of a W-2, your employer has not automatically made you an independent contractor. TYPE OF WORK - If the workers' job is part of the regular business of the employer, rather than some additional service to the business, it would favor the employer/employee relationship. JOB "TOOLS" - Who supplies the tools, supplies, or materials of the job? If the worker supplies all their own tools and materials it likely indicates an independent contractor relationship. HOURS - If the employer controls a workers' hours, it likely indicates an employment relationship. OVERALL CONTROL - If the employer controls how a worker does their job, as opposed to simply requiring certain results, the worker is likely an employee. These "how" factors focus on the hours, manner, methods, and means of performing the work.

For Romance Without Any Stress, "Sleepless in Seattle" Is the Cure by: Ed Bagley;
If you were celebrating Valentines Day with a candlelight dinner for two at home and settled in to watch a movie, "Sleepless in Seattle" would be a great choice because it provides a pleasant experience and is already becoming a romantic comedy classic. Your parents or grandparents experienced a similar story line in the now classic "An Affair to Remember" that was released in 1957 and paired Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. Their characters fall in love and agree to meet in 6 months at the Empire State Building in New York. Sleepless in Seattle, released 36 years later in 1993, pairs Tom Hanks as Sam Baldwin and Meg Ryan as Annie Reed. Sam is the recently-widowed father of 8-year-old Jonah Baldwin (Ross Malinger), who calls a nationally-broadcast radio talk show in an attempt to find his lonely father a partner. A somewhat reluctant Sam talks to host Marcia Fieldstone and thousands of single women across America are suddenly drawn in to Sam's sense of love for his former wife, each wishing she could be as cherished as Sam's next special person. To wit: Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: Tell me what was so special about your wife? Sam Baldwin: Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together . . .and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home . . . only to no home I'd ever known . . .I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like . . . magic. If that dialog does not melt every woman's heart she would need to go straight to "The Wizard of Oz" and receive a new transplant. Soon Sam is getting thousands of letters from wannabe partners, all of which are read by his son Jonah, who decides that "Annie" is the best choice. Annie is engaged to marry Walter (Bill Pullman). Should she do so she would be making the first great mistake of her life. Walter is a decent enough chap, but Annie is missing any sparks in their relationship because Walter has the personality of an ashtray. Annie goes to great lengths to meet Sam, flying from New York to Seattle only to discover Sam with another woman, whom she mistakes for a love interest. She never mails a letter she has written to Sam, but her friend does. In it she proposes to meet Sam on top of the Empire State Building. Sam is not interested in going, but his son Jonah is, so, with the help of his new friend whose parents own a travel agency, he is able to book a flight to the Big Apple and ends up on the observation deck of the Empire State Building looking for Annie. Sam, in a panic, to find his son, follows him to New York. The rest you will have to see. Hanks is very convincing as a forlorn widower and Ryan was at her peak of being cute and innocent. The chemistry between the two, who only share approximately 2 minutes of screen time together, is great. The role of Annie was originally offered to Julia Roberts but she turned it town. Kim Basinger, who was also offered the part, turned it down because she thought the premise was ridiculous. Just recently in the news, a youngster in Jonah's peer group did exactly what Jonah did, managed to book flight on a major airline and fly undetected. Life is indeed stranger than fiction. The screenplay for Sleepless in Seattle was written in part by Nora Ephron, who also wrote "When Harry Met Sally" (another great romantic comedy with Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal). Ephron directed the film. Ephron, David S. Ward and Jeff Arch (who did write the story) were nominated for an Oscar for Best Screenplay, and the film received another nomination for Best Original Song ("A Wink and a Smile"). Sleepless in Seattle also got Golden Globe nominations for Best Picture, Best Actor (Tom Hanks) and Best Actress (Meg Ryan). Sleepless in Seattle cost $21 million to film and grossed $227 million worldwide at the box office, adding another $65+ million in rentals. Tom Hanks is the gold standard in acting. He has been nominated for 5 Best Actor Oscars (Big, Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan and Cast Away) and won twice for "Philadelphia" and "Forrest Gump". Hanks also has won 4 Best Actor Golden Globes for Big, Philadelphia, Forrest Gump and Cast Away. His films have grossed more than $3.3 billion. He remains only 1 of 3 actors to have 7 consecutive $100 million domestic blockbusters; the other two are Tom Cruise and Will Smith. Sleepless in Seattle is viewed by many guys as a "chick flick" but not by me. I consider it an outstanding relationship film with a great story line that proves to be a pleasant viewing experience every time I see it again. If a guy has ever been in love and felt the magic, he will appreciate this film a lot more.